Photo 4 Dec 848 notes collegehumor:

Here’s 12 Kids That Could Steal Your Girlfriend [Click for full gallery]
And they’d still be home for nap time. P.S. My name is Chris Hansen, why don’t you and your girlfriend have a seat.

collegehumor:

Here’s 12 Kids That Could Steal Your Girlfriend [Click for full gallery]

And they’d still be home for nap time. P.S. My name is Chris Hansen, why don’t you and your girlfriend have a seat.

Photo 4 Dec 87,473 notes collegehumor:

A Haiku About Finals
So beautiful and heartbreaking and holy fuck I have a final in two days.

collegehumor:

A Haiku About Finals

So beautiful and heartbreaking and holy fuck I have a final in two days.

Photo 4 Dec 166,205 notes

(Source: suicideandscars)

via Puffymind.
Text 18 Jun I feel like a fucking child…

I thought that when you suddenly became an adult that you were able to make your own decisions… run your own life… choose who you want to be in it, choose what you want to do with your money, choose where you go when you go… Apparently times have changed and I’m stuck…literally stuck.. in a place where I no longer want to be. Today was such a wake up call… my mom seriously wants to control every single fucking aspect of my life until she feels like it’s okay to let me go. I feel like I’m five years old discovering a brand new world… except that I’m eighteen and I’m still on a leash. She’s a manipulating, lying, self absorbed, petty and immature woman and I cannot wait until the day where she realizes that maybe her kids would respect her and care for her a little more if she wasn’t calling the cops on everything that is over the age of 19 and is supposedly corrupting and trying to kill her and her kids. Or maybe if she cared as much about putting groceries or heat in the house when it’s 40 degrees in here than filling up her prescriptions for her and her friends to party with, then maybe everyone would respect and care for her a little more. There is no way in hell that I’m allowing her to run one more aspect of my life after I move out of here.. I’m done bowing to her feet because she tells me I have to. I’m done with the “I’m the adult and you’re the child” bullshit.. There’s a thing called a breaking point.. everyone has one and I think I just reached mine… 

Photo 13 Jun Greatest text that I have ever received from my dad.

Greatest text that I have ever received from my dad.

Text 11 Jun 914 notes Me: Can I use the bathroom? Teacher: I don’t know, can you? Me: When I was using “can” I was using its secondary model form as a verbal modifier asking for permission, as opposed to expressing an ability. I thought since you were a teacher you’d know that. My bad. MAY I use the restroom?

whenmomentsblog:

TEACHER:

image

image

OTHER STUDENTS IN THE CLASS:

image

image

AND I’M JUST LIKE :

image

image

Photo 6 Jun 7,121 notes collegehumor:

Billboard Placement Lines Up Giant Carrot with Butt
You’re not still planning on juicing that carrot, are you?

collegehumor:

Billboard Placement Lines Up Giant Carrot with Butt

You’re not still planning on juicing that carrot, are you?

Photo 6 Jun 812 notes collegehumor:

Love at first sight.
Photo 5 Jun 394 notes collegehumor:

Nail Salon Called “Nail Me Good”
They also own a massage parlor called Rub One Out  

collegehumor:

Nail Salon Called “Nail Me Good”

They also own a massage parlor called Rub One Out  

Photo 5 Jun 230 notes collegehumor:

Megan’s Senior Portrait
After all these years, she got an opportunity to see herself spread cheer.

collegehumor:

Megan’s Senior Portrait

After all these years, she got an opportunity to see herself spread cheer.


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